Knowing Not, But Knowing Him

There is a unique sense of loss, a distinct understanding, and a significantly different perspective when you experience grief from losing a loved one. The depth of this grief can be so profound that it leaves you unsure of how to navigate your daily routines or how to restart life. The future, once a distant concept, now appears blurred and uncertain.

How do you go about hoping for what is best and trusting for what is good to come to you when you have not received what you have been praying for? Faith is redefined in times of grief and loss. You understand life differently and even see your faith in a different light.

In times of grief and loss, your faith in God does not answer all your questions. It does not give you the clarity that you need in the situation. It does not miraculously remove the pain and the anguish. It does not heal you instantly. But here is what I realized. In the middle of your loss, even if you do not know how to start life again or why you are experiencing such incomprehensible pain and confusion, your faith in God sustains you.

When my husband suddenly passed away in November 2025, I did not just lose him; I lost myself. I did not just feel the usual sadness when things did not go my way. I felt life crumble. I am faced with questions that have no clear answers. I got so confused with so many things—about my faith, my feelings, my plans, and just my life and my children! But that little light that comes from knowing who God is kept holding me up. In times of loss, everything becomes grey, dull, and obscure. Even your faith. Things become heavy. You become a different person. But knowing who God is upholds me in this dark moment of my life when I just do not know how to live meaningfully as before. I do not know how I will be tomorrow, I only know how my children and I are today. I do not know how we will be in the future. And, yes, there are many times now that I am even afraid to hope for the future again. I am scared to plan. Yes, sometimes, I am even scared to pray for the future again. Yet, I still find myself praying. I still find myself whispering a prayer for my children and me. I still open the Bible and pray. I still say, “Lord, help! Lord, I don’t know what to do! Lord, change me! Lord, I do not want to go through life without you.” Because even when I have so many things I do not know yet, I still know who God is. Even when I do not even understand myself anymore, I still know who I believe. God’s wisdom and perfect ways are beyond my comprehension. I do not understand, but I believe.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    and your ways are not my ways,” says Yahweh. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways,
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

– Isaiah 55:8-9 (WEB)

…. and even this, this comes from God!

So when you feel like life is throwing all the bad stuff at you right now, look at that glow of light that God flashes in your direction. Sometimes, it is not as clear as a bright bulb, but more like a small tagging in your heart, a quick verse that comes to your mind, or a praying friend who never leaves you alone. They remind you of who God is, even when you do not understand life anymore.

©️2026 Deborah Agustin

Trusting God: Your Anchor of Hope

It can be incredibly challenging to hold onto hope for brighter days when every moment is clouded by heartache. The truth is, there are times when we feel so exhausted that hope seems like nothing more than a distant flicker in the shadows of our struggles.

David, in his reflections and prayers about the fleeting nature of life, posed a powerful question:

Now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you.

– Psalm 39:7 (WEB)

When confronted with life’s uncertainties and challenges, where does your hope truly lie? Let your hope be anchored in God. Unlike mere optimism, hope in God isn’t dependent on our feelings or the state of our circumstances; it is rooted in the absolute nature of who God is. His character is unwavering—always good and faithful, regardless of the chaos around us. Placing your hope in God is not just about wishing for better outcomes; it is about trusting in His divine ability to carve a path through your trials and transform your challenges into something profound. God is consistently present, always good, and infinitely wise, no matter how your circumstances may affect your emotions. Embrace this truth and let it fuel your hope.

©️2026 Deborah Agustin

God Remains Faithful

Difficulties after difficulties. It has been a roller-coaster ride for me. Uncertainties of every tomorrow can be overwhelming. Sometimes fear and worry just come crashing down, and unsettle me emotionally and mentally. It has been truly a test of faith for me, but also an opportunity for spiritual growth.

Ever since I started applying for a teaching position in USA, I am succumbed with mixed feelings — excitement, worry, hope, fear, happiness, and sadness. It is like a jar of mixed flavored candies that you don’t know which candy you will be picking every day. Only you don’t get to pick it by choice, it is served to you as it is.

I was hired and I flew 16 hours to USA last June 2025. As you may have already thought, I am really having a hard time adjusting to a new workplace, new culture, and at the same time I miss my family. On the positive side, working here is really a blessing because I am learning A LOT of new things. And above all, experiencing the difficulties enable me to put my dependence on God. It is really a journey of faith and trust. So, the difficulties after difficulties are faithfulness after faithfulness of God.

I am also thankful to have been able to meet and join a community of believers. The church has been a respite and comfort for me. They have been a source of encouragement as they faithfully support me and other teachers not only with their presence and counsel, but also through the Word of God that they faithfully teach us.

It is hard. It is difficult. Oftentimes, it is a lonely road to walk on. I sometimes say to my husband, I jusy want to go back home, but it was just out of my need for comfort. Through all the hardships, I see the faithful hand of God, lifting me up and sustaining me daily. Yes, He works all things for my good, even through the painful ones.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

– Romans 8:28 (WEB)

My encouragement to you today is to keep trusting God no matter how diffficult your situation is. God remains faithful.

©️2025 Deborah Agustin

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