We cannot be fickle-minded in following Jesus. We cannot say yes to God today and then say no to God tomorrow. Then when the day comes that we feel like we want to draw near to God or that we feel we need to, we say yes again. This is a cycle of a person who gave a half-hearted commitment to God. A half-hearted yes to God is bound for a rocky road. It is unsure. It is doubtful. It never gives full trust. It does not love completely. It holds back. It reserves a part of the self. It keeps secrets. It is not consistent. It is unstable. The Bible says it clearly that a double-minded man is unstable in ALL his ways (James 1:8).

To follow God is to lean on Him and not to self. Sometimes, we doubt God’s leading because we do not trust Him enough. We trust what we think than what God thinks about the situation. We trust our own understanding than God’s understanding of the matter. So our mouth says, “Yes, Lord!” but our heart says, “Are you sure Lord?” We think we know better! When we do not listen , when we refuse to heed, and when we ignore God’s voice, we are actually telling God that we know better than Him. It is like telling God that our decision is better than what He has in mind. This is exactly how the remnant of Judah acted before God when their governor, Gedaliah, was murdered at Mizpah. They sought God and His counsel through Prophet Jeremiah. “Then all the commanders of the forces, and Johanan the son of Kareah and Jezaniah the son of Hoshaiah, and all the people from the least to the greatest, came near and said to Jeremiah the prophet, “Let our plea for mercy come before you, and pray to the Lord your God for us, for all this remnant—because we are left with but a few, as your eyes see us— that the Lord your God may show us the way we should go, and the thing that we should do.” – Jeremiah 42:1-3. They had an earnest request because they feared for their lives. And when 10 days had passed and God answered their call, “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, to whom you sent me to present your plea for mercy before him: If you will remain in this land, then I will build you up and not pull you down; I will plant you, and not pluck you up; for I relent of the disaster that I did to you. Do not fear the king of Babylon, of whom you are afraid. Do not fear him, declares the Lord, for I am with you, to save you and to deliver you from his hand. I will grant you mercy, that he may have mercy on you and let you remain in your own land.” – Jeremiah 42:10-12. God instructed them to stay in the land and He will bless them there. What was their response? “Azariah the son of Hoshaiah and Johanan the son of Kareah and all the insolent men said to Jeremiah, ‘You are telling a lie. The Lord our God did not send you to say, ‘Do not go to Egypt to live there,’” -Jeremiah 43:2. And all of them disobeyed the voice of God and went to Egypt (Jeremiah 43:3-7). Doesn’t this scenario feel familiar? We seek God earnestly for the fears we have. We long for His answer because of the troubles in our life. But once we receive God’s answer, we feel dismayed and doubtful. We think that we have it planned out. Why does God want the other way? There are times that we seek God for selfish reasons. We only care to listen to words that please us and we ignore all else that does not come in agreement with our thinking. We fail to understand that obedience to God is realigning our thinking to God’s ways and not the other way around. We just seek comfort and peace yet we are not willing to obey. Like the Judeans, sometimes we tend to seek the blessing first and not the Blesser! We seek but we do not trust. Our limited understanding blinds us from the truth. And our unwillingness to trust God prompts us to ignore His voice. We then forget that to obey God is to open the way to His blessings. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” – Proverbs 3:5-8. Leaning is a beautiful picture to ponder on. Picture out a man leaning on the wall. A woman leaning on a man’s shoulder. A child leaning on his father. When we lean on something or someone we do not use up our own strength to stand. We do not tire easily. We do not get weary easily. We gather an amount of strength and energy from the object or person we are leaning on. The object or person where we are leaning on carries the weight for us. Thus, it becomes easier and lighter. So when we come to think of it, we only lean on something or someone who is stronger than us. Can a father lean on his kid? Will you dare to lean on a broken fence? Clearly, we do not lean on something that could not support us. We only lean on something or someone when we give them some level of trust. We lean on something because we trust that it can support us. We lean on someone because we trust that the person is able to help us. Leaning on God means we trust God to be wiser and stronger than us. Otherwise, we will never fully lean on God. When we lean on God, we demonstrate that trust. We trust God to carry the weight for us. We trust God to work things for us. We trust God to not only know better but to know the best for us. So let us not take our walk with God like Judah’s walk with God. They did not trust God and therefore disobeyed Him. Remember, our level of trust in God is the level of obedience we give. We cannot obey God without trusting Him. “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” – Hebrews 11:6.